I liked it, it was nicely done overalls. The story was simple and thus easy to understand, good job on twisting it slightly, it was a good idea and the scenes from different animes you implemented went well with ano hana!
But I think there are still some flaws, first, some parts before and in the beginning of the chorus look a bit rougher than they should be, it was confusing about the pace you wanted to put. Also some rolls who aren't really connecting two similar scenes or that are using too much blur (example: 1:10) while most of your dezooms/zooms are blurless, hence they lack fluidity.
Another point is the color correction, that may be just me but I think the blue filter you used could have had more contrast, like this it looked a bit monochrome to me.
And yeah, some stuff implemented could have look better, like the wings, maybe with some blur/lights on it it would have looked better, or the sheet from ef who's flying away on the face of the hero, maybe it wasn't the best scene to use as a background here. And of course, there's this mask at 1:50 but I guess you figured this one out xD
But besides that I can tell this is a good solid video with nice story twist and implementations, it was interesting, good job and good luck in the contest!