First of all it's a pity you didn't get a higher place, the top 10 felt totally envisageable for this one. Perharps Kara no kyoukai amvs are underrated (hello "Time Note") and the fact that it was released early harmed your ranking.. Anyways
That was pretty cool, I especially loved the first part, the atmosphere is strong and the effects are very nicely done. I can be petty on some transitions like the wave simulations or this weird one at 1:34 but nothing too annoying. However, from 2:00 or so, I feel like you lost it a bit, not like it was bad or anything, but a few things seemed weird to me.
2:02 this cam move seems unfinished and too strong, I know it's going to the dynamic part but it's still the normal pace here.
2:09 and 2:14 these rolls weren't consistent. Edges are too noticeable.
2:19 the pace slows down a lot because of those static scenes
2:22 I didn't enjoy this chain of cam moves, there were going to the left, to the right, well in short there were too many and it contrasts with the pace you were using.
By the way, the ending was okay but I think you needed a better ending scene. But apart from that, that was pretty good and a really nice surprise, I hope the next entry you submit will be recognized better. Good job!